I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
