the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
