were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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