i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
