I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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