You work out of a Hotel?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
