Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
