He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Vodka?
Forever.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
