i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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