Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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