I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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