yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
