dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
