So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
