I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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