its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
