you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
did i walk over a car last night?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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