shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
