There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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