overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
