I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
