Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
