There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
