I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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