you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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