So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
