awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
