why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
