just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize