Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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