your room smells of hookers.
And success
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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