yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
