Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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