So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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