You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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