the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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