My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize