Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
