then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
pray to the hookup gods
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
