I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
