I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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