I hate your face
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
