so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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