Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
