but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
