Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
