He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
