when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
