at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
