We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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