Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
