Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
