its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
