And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
