Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
