I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
