Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
