"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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